.Editor's Details: The following is the text message of a character from Exploration Three Leader Frank L. Culbertson (Captain, USN Retired), reflecting on the events of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I have not written quite regarding specifics of this particular mission during the course of the month I've been actually here, mostly for 2 explanations: the very first being that there has actually been very little opportunity to accomplish that kind of composing, and secondly due to the fact that I am actually uncertain just how comfortable I am actually discussing thought and feelings I show family and friends with the rest of the world.Well, undoubtedly the planet altered today. What I mention or even perform is incredibly slight matched up to the significance of what took place to our nation today when it was attacked by ... by whom? Terrorists is actually all we know, I suppose. Hard to know at whom to direct our anger and also concern ...I had actually only ended up a lot of duties today, the absolute most taxing being the physical exams of all team participants. In an exclusive chat complying with that, the tour surgeon informed me they were actually possessing an extremely bad time on the ground. I had no suggestion ...He explained the condition to me as best he knew it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was flabbergasted, then frightened. My initial thought was actually that this had not been a true talk, that I was actually still listening closely to among my Tom Clancy strips. It only really did not appear achievable on this scale in our nation. I could not also picture the particulars, also just before the news of more damage started coming in.Vladimir dropped in pretty rapidly, picking up that one thing incredibly significant was actually being reviewed. I waved Michael in to the component too. They were actually likewise surprised as well as stunned. After we authorized off, I tried to clarify to Vladimir and also Michael as best I might the prospective immensity of this act of horror in downtown New york and also at the Pentagon. They precisely comprehended and also were incredibly supportive.I glanced at the Planet Chart on the computer to observe where over the globe our team were and also noticed that our team were coming southeast away from Canada and also will be skipping New England in a few moments. I whized around the station until I found a home window that will offer me a view of NYC and got hold of the nearby video camera. It occurred to be a video camera, and also I was looking southern coming from the window of Michael's cabin.The smoke cigarettes seemed to have a strange flower to it at the base of the pillar that was streaming south of the area. After going through some of the news articles our experts simply received, I feel our team were looking at NY around the moment of, or even quickly after, the failure of the 2nd tower. Exactly how terrible ...I swung the video camera the whole time the East Coastline to the south to find if I might see some other smoke cigarettes around Washington, or even anywhere else, but nothing showed up.It was rather challenging to think of work afterwards, though we possessed some to perform, but on the following orbit our experts went across the US further south. All three of us were actually functioning 1 or 2 video cameras to try to obtain scenery of Nyc or Washington. There was haze over Washington, but no details resource could be seen. All of it appeared astonishing coming from a couple of hundred miles away. I can't imagine the heartbreaking settings on the ground.Other than the mental effect of our nation being actually attacked and lots of our residents and also possibly some close friends being actually killed, the most overwhelming emotion being where I am is just one of seclusion.Upcoming day ... I guess the fatigue and also emotional tension received the very best of me. I couldn't remain awake as well as continue to create. Today was still hard, but we started acquiring additional info, plus we possessed the respect of chatting directly with the Facility Director, Roy Estess, that ensured our team that the ground crews will remain to work and ensure our safety and security, and also the secure function of the Station. We also learnt through our Supervisor, Mr. Goldin, who added that the partners in the Program are all entirely committed to continuing risk-free operations as well as help. These were actually never inquiries for me. I recognize all these people! The ground staffs have been actually very encouraging, extremely understanding of the effect of the information, as well as have actually made an effort to be as practical as feasible. They have actually all been actually extremely specialist as well as concentrated though I can't imagine the diversion of this particular kind of updates can be found in and also the idea that authorities buildings may be in jeopardy. They certainly never skipped a beat, also when relocating nerve center. As well as a group of senior workers as well as close friends gave our team a rather extensive briefing about what was actually known and what was being actually performed in the federal government and at NASA on Tuesday afternoon, which was very practical and also type of them to carry out in the midst of all the chaos. The Russian TsUP has actually also been encouraging and also practical, making an effort to uplink newspaper article when our own possessions were inoperable, and also saying kind words ...My crewmates have been actually excellent, too. They know it is actually been a hard time for me and the individuals on the ground, and they have actually attempted to become as also keeled and also beneficial as achievable. Michael even corrected me my favorite Borscht soup for dinner. And they give me plenty of area to think when I needed it. They are actually quite supportive and also of course outraged at whoever would certainly perform this.I understand plenty of people in Washington, a lot of people who travel to DC as well as NYC, plenty of that are actually flies, that I felt sure I would certainly obtain at least a handful of pieces of bad news over the following handful of times. I got the first one today when I knew that the Captain of the American Airlines jet that hit the Pentagon was Chic Burlingame, a classmate of mine. I encountered Chic during cadet summertime when our experts were in the D&B all together, and also our team possessed lots of courses all together. I can't picture what he must of experienced, and also currently I listen to that he may have increased better than we may also consider through possibly stopping his plane coming from being actually the one to deal with the White Residence. What a terrible reduction, however I ensure Chic was actually fighting fearlessly throughout. As well as tears don't stream the same precede ...It's complicated to define just how it really feels to become the only American fully off the earth each time including this. The sensation that I must exist along with every one of you, taking care of this, helping somehow, is mind-boggling. I know that our company are on the limit (or beyond) of a dreadful switch in the past history of the globe. Many points are going to never ever coincide once again after September 11, 2001. Certainly not merely for the 1000s and lots of folks straight influenced by these horrendous actions of violence, yet most likely for everybody. Our experts will certainly discover our own selves experiencing differently concerning dozens of things, including possibly room expedition, regrettably.It is actually dreadful to see smoke cigarettes putting coming from cuts in your very own country coming from such a great angle. The dichotomy of being on a space probe devoted to strengthening daily life on the earth as well as watching lifestyle being destroyed through such willful, awful actions is jolting to the mind, no matter that you are actually. And also the know-how that whatever will be actually various than when our team introduced due to the time our experts land is a little bit of disconcerting. I believe in our country and in our leadership that we will certainly perform everything possible to far better defend her and also our loved ones, as well as to bring compensation for what has been performed. I have confidence that the good people at NASA will carry out every thing needed to proceed our mission securely as well as return our team carefully at the right time. And also I miss out on each one of you very much. I can't exist with you in person, and also our company have a very long way to go to accomplish our objective, however be actually certain that my soul is with you, and also understand you reside in my requests.Humbly, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An improve to the last character ... Thankfully, it's been actually an occupied full week up here. As well as to prove that, like our nation, our experts are actually advancing our desired path along with organization as usual (as long as possible). Tonight the most up to date enhancement to the station, the Russian Docking Compartment will definitely be released from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Saturday evening (US opportunity), it will certainly dock along with us, at a slot never used prior to on the low point edge of the Company Element. This brand new module is going to provide us an additional location to dock a Progression or even Soyuz and also will certainly provide a large airlock along with two able to be used hatches for carrying out EVA's in Russian Orlan satisfies, which our team will definitely do a few of before our experts return.The complication before in coping with today was insufficient news. The issue today is too much. It arrived at one time when email was rejuvenated, and also there is actually insufficient opportunity to review it all! Plus it is actually also challenging to cope with all of it instantly. Yet I enjoy acquiring it, as well as I truly value the excellent letters of help as well as companionship I am actually acquiring.We are actually prospering aboard, acquiring our work done, and also discussing factors. Final night our experts possessed a lengthy discussion over dinner concerning the implication of these occasions, the feasible actions to follow, and also what ought to be actually done. After supper, Michael challenged telling me that every e-mail he received from friends in Russia stated especially to tell me exactly how regretful they were that this occurred, expanding their condolences, and talking to just how I was performing. Vladimir showed me the Russian word for "condolences" after speaking with the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Superstar Urban area. (Both the Russian and the English terms are a lot too lengthy to verbalize quickly.) Incredibly kind individuals.For the last 2 days, the Russian MCC has actually been good enough to broadcast online programs of broadcast information regarding the celebration and also affiliated stories, to make sure I was properly notified. Every expert who has actually started free throw line to talk about a technique or a problem has at some point stretched introductions to me along with kind phrases. Tonight the Russian capcom told us that as a result of the big day of remembrance in the United States, all the time individuals had actually been actually delivering florals and lining all the wall surfaces of the US consular office in Moscow, and this evening they were igniting candles in the road outside the consular office. Exactly how the planet has changed.People all over seem to identify the senselessness and also horror within this strike. And also the significant loss. Moscow has coped with these type of troubles in the final handful of years with house as well as subway bombings, so they are as nervous to get rid of this threat as our team are actually. But the bottom product line is actually that there are good people all over who would like to reside in calmness. I go through that a kid asked, "The United States is actually thus good to other countries, our experts constantly assist everybody, just how can they despise our team a lot?".I really hope the example of collaboration as well as depend on that this space capsule plus all people in the program display daily are going to someday encourage the rest of the planet to operate the same way. They must!Sadly, our experts won't be actually taking flight over the United States while people are lighting candle lights. Do not know if our team could see that anyhow. Our team did, having said that, see an extremely uncommon and lovely sight a few minutes ago: the launch of our Docking Area on a Soyuz booster. We were surpassing it and also it came into view regarding three mins after its own launch from Baikonur as the sun hit our terminal, so it was still unaware. It resembled a huge comet along with a straight, large tail silhouetted versus the dark world under. Even with some poor lights for some time as the sunshine attacked our home window at a low viewpoint, I took care of some video of it as to begin with our company passed the spacecraft, and then saw it start to catch up as it obtained elevation as well as velocity. I filmed until major engine deadline as well as enhancer splitting up occurred equally our experts moved toward sunup on the Mountain ranges. A memorable view in a remarkable week ...Life happens, even in space. Our team are actually below to keep ... Frank.